Tattoo Risks

During one of my virtual romps through the internet, I found this advertisement for bing.com. I couldn't help but laugh when I read the text. All I could think was "The biggest risk of tattoos is ending up looking like this idiot."

That was close...

I almost died taking a shower today. I will admit, however, that it was pretty darn funny how. I was standing with my back toward the shower head and tap. My legs were probably about shoulder-width apart. I had just finished washing and was just enjoying the warmth of the water before closing up shop. Out of nowhere, I hear this loud sound, feel water shoot from behind me, between my legs, and hit the wall in front of me. Freaking out a little, I started to look around wondering what happened. I looked down and noticed a high pressure water stream shooting from an exposed copper pipe in the wall, flowing in a straight line between my knees to wall across from it. On the ground was the detached water tap.

As it turns out, the tap had finally had enough of the pressure and fired off the wall and hit the wall in front of me. I'm just really glad I'm not shorter.

I'm an Arsonist

I realize it's been a while since my last post and that my next contribution should be of more substance, but eh...

Yesterday, I set off the fire alarm. How? I was making a sandwich on a sandwich press. Previously unbeknownst to me, smoke detectors detect smoke and lunch. Full of shame, I vacated the building with the rest of my living companions. We gathered at the designated assembly point, and campus security and the fire department shortly followed. At first I was concerned that they might apprehend my sandwich as evidence, but they were kind enough to leave it be. After they told us we could reenter the building, I ate my sandwich and tried to put the incident out of my mind.

The unfortunate side effect of this whole ordeal is that I now fear the sandwich machine. Lunch will never be the same...

What's in a name?

Sometime last year, my colleague Steve and I discussed a conundrum which, as of yet, has remained unanswered. It was recently brought back to my attention, and I now submit it for public scrutiny: why is it that women can be named after attributes that are desirable personality traits or moral codes of the super-ego, while men, on the other hand, cannot?

Examples of such women's names:

- Joy

- Hope

- Truth

- Mercy

- Constance

Many of us can say that we have met or heard of a woman with one of the aforementioned names or similar ones. Unfortunately, this naming practice does not cross over to the male sex. If anything, it would make for very poor men's names. Some examples would be:

- Power

- Strength

- Honor

- Tenacity

- Leadership

You will never hear someone introduce his/her children "Hi, these are my sons Integrity and Power." Once again, we men have drawn the short straw.

Jonathan

The other day, I went to this bonfire party and had a good, long talk with a fellow international student who is from Papua New Guinea. His name is Jonathan. We talked for probably around two hours or so. I had met him earlier in the week, but hadn't really talked to him for very long until that night.

Jonathan is a shorter guy--somewhere around 5' 6"--and built like a miniature linebacker. He has a dark complexion and a wide face. He has the type of smile that is so big and warm, smiling back is involuntary. When he laughs, you can't help but join him. His hands look like those of one who knows what it means to work hard. His manner is very respectful and kind. Even though I have known him for less than a week, if I had to choose one word to describe his personality, it would be "selfless".

He comes from a very different way of life than I do. His village is up in the mountains of Papua New Guinea. They recently were able to get electricity for the first time, but they still do not have running water. It is primarily a farming community whose major crop is sweet potato. The village is about an hour away from the nearest town. Going into town is always a big deal and requires a lot of preparation. The road is full of hazards. Every trip requires the men to get out of the car and push to dislodge it from some sort of pothole, mud puddle, or what have you. Fortunately, the village is fairly self-sufficient and trips to the town are not required often.

By most western standards, his way of life would be considered primitive and/or poor, but I feel these words connotate an arrogance without ground. Humble is much more appropriate descriptor. Jonathan and his family are content with what they have and are never left wanting. They never go hungry; they have sufficient shelter; they have no need of money; and don't miss any of the "stuff" western culture trifles over. Jonathan told me that he was a little intimidated by life over here because he is afraid of offending someone with his "poor manners", but really, he is perhaps one of the most polite and conscientious people I have met. It saddens me that this was his first impression of the "1st World".

He lives in a tin roof hut that he built himself with his wife and three small children, all under the age of 7. Jonathan will be the first person from his village to go to college. Most people from his village do not even continue their education beyond the tenth grade. If they do, they have to relocate to a larger village or town where eleventh and twelfth grades are taught. Jonathan was not so fortunate.

Sometime after he finished the tenth grade, he began an apprenticeship for a large international mining company and has spent the last 16 years working for the same mining company, mining gold and copper. The last ten of which have been as an electrical technician. He is here to study electrical engineering. The mine is far from the village he is from. So far, in fact, that the mining company has to fly him back and forth between the village and the town near the mine. He spends as many as six months away from the village. Fortunately, the company he works for provides housing for him and his wife and children

Jonathan told me about how he would often come home after a long day at work and play with his children until it was time for bed. Then, he would tuck them into bed and pray with them. He told me about how he and his wife taught them how to pray, how every time they would even eat without praying, his children would speak up, saying "Hey, we didn't pray! We shouldn't be eating yet!". He told me about how his son wanted to pray before meals but didn't know how to finish the prayer and how he would stop mid-prayer and ask his mother to help him finish. Jonathan relayed one memorable account of when his son asked to pray. This time he began the prayer, his mother expecting him to pause and request help half-way through. He kept going until finally he was done. It was his first complete prayer. Everyone was so happy and proud of him that they hugged him, threw him up in the air, and celebrated.

He told me about how earlier that day, while he was going through new student orientation activities, seeing all of the other much younger students and the way of life here in Australia, he began thinking of his own children and broke down thinking about how he wanted the same things for them, for them to get a good education and go off to college, to have all of the cool stuff that they wanted.

Now, I am not one who is easily moved to tears. There are few things that can even push me close to that point--at least since I was in grade school, anyway. One of these things, however is the thought of, one day, seeing my own children experiencing harm or hardship or even seeing another father endure the same. Witnessing any sort of emotional turmoil for a father really gets to me. While Jonathan told me the stories of him playing with his children, his son praying on his own for the first time, and his breakdown over missing his children and wanting nothing but the best for them, I almost had a breakdown myself. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it must be for him to miss any of the great milestones in the lives of his children because of his studies.

He has made a huge sacrifice by coming here to continue his studies. He will be away from his family for up to 4 months at a time. I pray that God will give him peace in being away from his family and that he will be as good of a student as he is as a father. I pray that he will be able to give his children all that he desires. I am glad to have met Jonathan.

Come on, dude! Everybody's doing it!

I really do detest fads, but this one kinda looked like fun. =)

1 - My favorite word is "asinine", and no, it's not for the reasons you may think. But it might be...

2 - I enjoy vegetables such as lettuce, onions, and pickles on my hamburgers, but if they protrude to far out from the bun, they bother me and will be removed.

3 - I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes.

4 - Shame scares me more than death.

5 - When I was a child, I would often fall asleep on the floor while cleaning my room. On multiple occasions, I would be awoken by my own laughter. This was due to a reoccurring dream in which I was proclaimed the world's greatest "trash picker-upper".

6 - I once saw Pierce Brosnan on the street outside of a jewelry store.

7 - My sister and I are two years apart and she will graduate before me.

8 - People who tell me that I am part of a pivotal generation really annoy me. I believe that the world is in a perpetual downward spiral and there is nothing I or anyone else can do to fix it. We just have to keep on loving each other anyway because that's what Jesus wants us to do.

9 - A couple of years ago, I made the switch to natural peanut butter, and haven't looked back since.

10 - In high school, I once played an entire football game with my shoulder pads on backwards.

11 - I really want to punch someone just to see what it feels like.

12 - One time, when I was a kid, I flicked a booger on my grandmother while she was driving. She wigged out and almost crashed. Since then, I only pick my nose under the cover of darkness.

13 - If they made a Rosetta Stone "Jive" edition, I would buy it. I love crazy lingo.

14 - I've always wanted to laugh so hard that milk came out of my nose.

15 - Wet Willies are always funny to me.

16 - One of the biggest let downs for me is walking into a restaurant getting seated by a pretty hostess near my age, and then getting a dude who calls me "bro" for a waiter. It's like winning the lottery and then losing it all to taxes.

17 - I once exposed myself for money.

18 - Numbers 6, 11, and 17 are made up. Yup, completely fabricated.

19 - Occasionally, I will unintentionally write the word "meat" down instead of the word "meet" and it makes me laugh every time.

20 - Although I am an avid music lover now, I didn't purchase my first CD until the eighth grade.

21 - Whenever someone asks me to come over for guy's night and play poker, inwardly, I start an intense debate on whether I should go or look for a way out. I'd rather just hang out and watch, but guys take the stupid game so seriously. The inquiry "Well, can we just not play for money?" is never met with success.

22 - I have been endlessly searching for caring way of telling people "I don't care." However tender, sincere, and/or loving one's tone may be, I have yet to discover an effective way of convincing the recipient of my these feelings for them, while also conveying my complete apathy toward whatever he/she is talking about. No number of I-love-you's will ever fully repair a "That's great mom, but I don't care."

23 - One of the things I regret most is not spending more time with my family when I was living with them. 

24 - I am a complete and total information junkie. I spend countless hours doodling around on the internet without actually accomplishing anything. My frequent online endeavors often include: fantasy shopping on Amazon (I can't even begin to imagine how much time I've wasted on amazon and reading product reviews), reading entertainment news (unlike old ladies who read tabloids for gossip, I read entertainment news because I firmly believe that what is happening is the lives of celebrities shapes our culture more than who is president and what country is fighting what other country. It's unfortunate, but true.), and Facebooking (also unfortunate and also true). If they offered internet rehab, I would be a prime candidate.

25 - I hope to one day be the proud owner of a 1981 DeLorean DMC-12.

Airport Restroom

I went to Puerto Rico with my family for Christmas. On my way back, I was routed form San Juan, PR to Philadelphia, from Philadelphia to Chicago, and finally, from Chicago to Dallas. Then a two and a half hour drive from Dallas to Longview, TX.

The most memorable part of my 22-hour return trip took place in an airport restroom in Philadelphia. As is the case with many public restrooms, this one did not have any doors in the entrance. Rather, it had an short, U-shaped corridor that winds around so as to obstruct a view of any restroom patrons from those out within the terminal.

As I turned the corner, to my immediate left was a row of urinals facing a row of sinks. There was a series of small dividers between each urinal, sticking out from the wall, and a long mirror above that, running the full length of the room. I did what seemed the most natural and approached the closest open urinal which happened to be the one on the end closest to the entrance. For some reason, even though there were dividers shielding each urinal from its neighbors, there was no divider shielding the urinal on the end--the one I was using--from the entrance.

I was standing in front of the urinal, conducting my business, for no more than a few seconds when I noticed movement near the entrance over my left shoulder. I glanced back and spied a small girl who, by the look on her face, was just as startled to see me relieving myself as I was to see her in a men's restroom. She quickly turned around and disappeared back into the corridor and out into the terminal, sobbing the entire way. I could still hear her crying as I proceded to finish up and wash my hands. As I exited the bathroom, there she was clutching mommy's leg and sniffling. She awkwardly looked up at me as I walked by and watched me walk away.